Splitscreen

Ok. So I've been really out of it lately. There haven't been many times in my life where I've felt like I was completely separate from the world, but lately that's what it feels like. I've written before about how sometimes it feels like I'm on one side of a large window that splits a room in half and all the people who are in my life are on the other.

I hit the glass hard, pounding my fists until they're raw, and I scream until my voice is gone. Everyone hears me. But I can't hear myself. The only person keeping me locked on that side of the room is myself.

I need to fix this because I don't even want to be near me. I'm a hazard to all that is light and playfull, happy, and carefree. I feel so incredibly weighed down that it's all I can do to just smile. I'm cringing at the thought of even writing this because I HATE debbie-downers and I fear it's what I'm becoming.

Someone look me in the eyes sometime and you might be able to find a way in.