Final Post

Hello all,
This is my final posting on this blog. I've decided to pursue a change in scenery. If you wish to keep up with my ramblings go over to guitarsanddirtyclothes.tumblr.com

So my final posting is a poem I've written called ON PURPOSE

When my eyes could barely see
And my mouth could barely speak
I would stand in the sand and watch my tiny toes sink
Into that dark grey sinkhole, sometimes up to the ankle
Knowing that the role I play at this very moment
Is no blank in the universe, no missing plank in the bridge,
But a role that takes stage after stage after stage after stage, and goes on like a rage after an alcoholic's final straw

A moment so innocent, filled with wonderment, a moment purified from genocide, pesticide, and things like Sesame Street, baby food, and running to your mother are glorified, magnified, and solidified, by the fact that I am on a beach with the sand in my toes, something like four years old
Playing a role, Given a second chance
To happen upon circumstance that would make me the way I am

Snatched from a cancer that starts with an L
Ends in eukemia, and pushed on towards academia to fulfill,
and spill into, the minds of others, not to mention the hearts,
that like jars are filled with moments like mine,
ready to burst forth like a bomb whose time is up.

Melodies and lines that rise and sink like my toes deep,
Into hearts that beat with pressures, stresses, tests, and quests,
I create because I am made to do just that, tap, slap, and trap
The colloquial and the formal just so I can ease this troubled
Cranial grey matter that sometimes can be unexplainable yet so concrete to me

Reasons can be unattainable at best, but I rest
Knowing I know whose I am, and who’s behind the wheel, or who’s under
That sand pulling it slowly downward with my feet in tow

So when I say that my toes are slowly sinking, my ankles soon to be deep in salty liquid...
I am no accident, no predicament, I am

On purpose