Limbo Limbo Limbo

I just finished my last day of training for my new job. I'm seriously glad to be done with it. I'll be even more happy when I start actually waiting tables instead of participating in ridiculous role-play assignments that are nothing like real life. Anyway. This whole job situation got me thinking because I don't really feel as if this job is getting me anywhere. I've been waiting tables for awhile now and as someone who wants to be in full time ministry, it's making feel as if I'm purposeless. I'm in the restaurant with a bunch of people, and it's not so bad at this restaurant, but in most I've been in, I've been working with people who have made a career out of the food industry. There's nothing wrong with that, because you make good money, but it's just not something that I want to do much longer. I'm ready for my real career.

This also got me thinking in another direction.

Even though I want to be in ministry a.k.a. work in the church, do design stuff, play music, etc, my question for myself is: is the real ministry not where I am now?

Aren't I in the field?

I know these are the right questions to be asking, but I'm not sure I'm in the place right now to follow through with it. I'll be completely honest and say that I'm a selfish person. I want the way I make money to be the way that I want it to be. Not what's available.

This goes along with the blog I wrote awhile back about being in between things. I can't do anything else right now and that's what's killing me. I'm ready to start a real life, but it's just not time yet.

I'm just holding on.