Man. I'm really blogging a lot. I've gotten into this whole blog more than once a day thing. Whoa, way to break the mold there buddy. Anyway. I just got finished watching the movie Spanglish. I've never seen it before tonight and let me say that I thought it was a great movie. A little cliche at times, but nevertheless a great movie. It got me thinking about timing.
Sometimes things are not right even though they feel that way.
I'm horrible with timing. I've screwed up so many things that could have been good because of bad timing. There are still things in my life that I wish I could have done differently and I'm sure there will be plenty more.
My emotions definitely get the best of me and most of the time, when I feel like I'm doing the right thing or making the right decision, the timing is way off.
I am so good at pushing things away. Things as in people. I feel like there are certain walls up in my life that I'm not sure I know how to take down. How to let anyone in. Sometimes I feel like I'm hooked on leaving places because I'm not sure how to make things work, or because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of losing people and I'm afraid of pain.
I want to feel right about things and have them actually be right for a change. So I'm praying that God would grant me wisdom and guidance so that when things feel right, my feelings and emotions will be in line with His, and things will turn out the way He wants them to.
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I liked the movie Spanglish too .. but the first time I watched it I almost found myself cheering for him to leave her. Which is so not what Christ would have said (he would have allowed divorce, but I don't know that he ever encourages it)
and yeah, timing is huge. The right thing at the wrong time fails. I'm VERY SLOWLY learning how to listen to the whisper of God. I'm trying to find more time in my life to really seek and find it.
I'm not great at it, but I'm getting there.
I know that on the days that I've really been seeking God (not just skimming through a quiet time) I'm far less prone to do stupid things or to do things in my own power.
It's all about being connected with God. When I am connected, I'm on my game.. when I'm just going through motions, I start to do things on my own and I fail.
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